Some of you are probably only reading this to figure out what in the world I mean by this. Is this some kind of play on words? Could it really be true? And with a broken heart, the answer is a sad and unfortunate, yes.
Here’s the thing. I’ve been given this blog title and the words I am about to write by the Holy Spirit just the same as all the other posts I write. So, here I sit now 6 months after our separation began finally putting to paper what He has for all of us to read. It is with all sincerity that I say that I have prayed for this specific blog post for months.
You see. Shortly after my husband officially filed for divorce and the reality that it was truly happening set in, I was given this title. You may be wondering what the significance of the timing is.
The title contained several key words that I don’t want to just seem like a clever or catchy title.
First. It says survived. I knew right away that I was going to make it. I didn’t know how, it wasn’t pretty, and this was the lowest low I had ever experienced.
What Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-14 pretty much sums up the past 6 months of my life.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I went from fully supported to what I felt was fully deserted. But, friends, I am here to tell you that my fulfillment was just beginning. When I felt alone in every human sense, I was for the first time truly experiencing God’s friendship. When my bank account was in the red, I was reminded that His red blood shed for me on Calvary was enough to cover my debts and provide for me in ways I never imagined possible!
Guys. Not only did I survive, but I can honestly say I have been able to thrive! And don’t worry, I’ll tell you my not-so-secret secret in a second!
But first, the next part in that sentence was key. Divorce. I had to come to terms with that early on. Here’s the thing. If you came here to read this for juicy details, you’re going to leave disappointed. As with any divorce, there are two parties involved. I will be the first to say that I was not always perfect, and neither was my husband. There is no need to point fingers or spread gossip across the internet. It’s my heart to still want to protect everyone involved.
In the two years we were married, there was a lot of heartache and heartbreak and I would be lying if I said that divorce had not been thought about and talked about. Was it what I wanted? Absolutely not. But is it what happened? Yes. I couldn’t change it. So, I had to accept it.
If you are in the same situation as me, accept it, dear friend. Know that you will survive.
The final piece of the title was also just as key to me. 25. My birthday is October 15th and he filed for divorce on March 23rd. When the Holy Spirit gave me this title, it included my age which would change in 7 months. This was a promise to me because it reiterated what He had already whispered to me gently. “Six months. Give Me six months.”, He said.
I will never forget the moment I heard those words. Friend. I did just that. I promised to give Him six months. Six months have now come and gone, and I am taking nothing back. He has the rest of my life. These six months have changed everything for me. I am not the same person I was, and I have found a new Best Friend in Jesus Christ. He was never not there, I just never made Him the priority I should have. Talk about conviction! Whoa!
So, you see. Early on I had hope of surviving the reality of divorce all while I was 25. It may not be that way for you. You may be going on year 3 of proceedings. I don’t know how long it will take, but you will survive if you truly unveil the person God has made you to be. Hold on to who HE says you are.
You are chosen, adopted, loved, redeemed, precious, unshakable, forgiven, accepted, worth it, a warrior, victorious. My sweet friend, it is with tears in my eyes that I beg you to ask your Father Who He says YOU are. Ask Him to reveal those precious truths to you and then write them down and live in the body of THAT person.
I am here to tell you that the ONLY way that I am standing victorious on the other side of this is because of my Faith and my Fathers. I am so blessed and truly the luckiest girl on the face of the planet to have an earthly father that walked by my side through every step of the process.
The physiological truth is that my physical body does not produce the stress hormone (just one of the crazy things that makes me, me! haha) But, if you have ever personally walked through or are walking through divorce or know someone who has walked through it, you could undoubtedly attest that it is a stressful and invasive situation.
If I didn’t have my father in the physical sense, I am not sure where I would be. So, dad, if you’re reading this, thank you. Thank you for being my human best friend! You are the most amazing human being I have ever met and thank you for supporting me and being my right arm in this process. I love you!
If you’re reading this and are blessed with what I have in a physical father or someone who has played that role in your life, please take a moment to thank them and let them know how much they are appreciated. It will mean the world to them I can guarantee it!
If you do not find yourself in that category, I urge you to listen to the next words I am about to write. My earthly father has failed me and fallen short of what I need. Has he been there more times than not? Yes. Is he over-all trust worthy and amazing? Yes. But he is not all I need. You either.
Just as our spouses were not everything we needed and ended up failing us and leaving us in despair and layers of hurt and loneliness, that’s just it- they were not all we needed.
You must recognize that your Heavenly Father sits beside you in your moments of desperation and hurt. He has never walked away or failed you. All I had to do to survive AND THRIVE is welcome Him into my daily life. Into those intricacies of my decisions, heartbreak, desperation and ultimate healing.
I have found joy and peace that is literally unexplainable and astounding. And oh, how my heart breaks for those who feel like you are still drowning and alone. Please let your Father who loves you reach down and rescue you.
Faith is believing in what you don’t see but know is true. I couldn’t see the end of my despair, but I knew it was coming. I couldn’t see how I was going to survive financially, but I knew He would provide. I didn’t see how I would be capable of handling the stress physically or emotionally, but I knew I wasn’t alone.
So, for the 180 days that was between our split and mediation, I held onto my faith in what I couldn’t see. And here I sit 7 days after our settlement, breathing, living and walking in that victory on a daily basis. I did experience the end of my despair, I did survive financially and physically, and I did thrive emotionally.
You can, and you will too, my friend. Victory is yours for the taking. Hold fast to your faith and your Father(s). Listen to what He’s urging you to do in this season.
He asked for 6 months and for me to desire my spiritual food more than my physical food. He also asked me to read and study the New Testament from Matthew to Revelation. When I did those things making Him a priority, I realized how weak I was alone, and how much I need Him. I discovered that I am nothing without Him. That doesn’t lessen my worth, that extenuates His power that is already within me.
Now I can’t imagine missing a morning spent with Jesus, and six months is not enough for me. I learned a significant amount about me and my Father in my New Testament reading and grew leaps and bounds in my friendship with Him.
In the weeks to come, I am planning on expounding on the truths that I learned and that were poured into me by friends and family that love and supported me on this journey.
In the meantime, I ask that you continually pray for me and my health. Walking through these big life circumstances has not always been easy, but it’s possible, but definitely not easy. So, in order for me to walk as the warrior that He has called me to be, I need an army surrounding me. Will you be a part of that army?
Please always feel welcome to reach out whether for prayer for your personal situation, or to let me know that you are praying for me. Either message will be accepted with open arms and with a heart of love, compassion and thankfulness.
Stay strong, my dear friend. I survived and so will you!
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You can too, friend! As His children, we have the power to love the ones who hurt us because we have experienced the true redemption of His faithful love in our own life.
Emily Laniak 